Week 4: Socialising

Life gets in the way, doesn’t it? The so-called “priorities” like work and admin climb to the top of the list, whereas other things that seem like indulgences are demoted. This is why overtime at work overrides the evening run or the phone call to loved ones. The self and the social get sacrificed in the name of the everyday, which takes a subtle but discernible toll.

And sometimes the effect of such choices becomes startlingly, irrevocably evident.

In the week I was trying to make more of an effort to be social, life showed me the cost of having neglected such relationships in the past. A loved one became very sick, and I realised I had no more opportunity to talk to them. How many times had I put off the phone call? The excuses now seemed paltry, indefensible in the midst of grievous illness. How could I have prioritised Netflix over staying in touch?

It is not just with frail relatives that the effect of such decisions bears review. In the time before the calamity, this week I had scheduled Zoom dinners with different sets of friends, much overdue despite the quietness of lockdown. What a joy it was to see familiar faces and marvel at just how much a baby can grow in the space of a month. Why had I let things slip for so long?

Too often the things that get relegated in our schedules are the activities, or worse the people who are the most reliable. We always assume that we can catch up on sleep at the weekend, or that our loved one will be able to take our call. But that is a fallacy. Reliable though they may be, life is anything but, and as this pandemic has shown, so much of what we consider stable is actually us taking things for granted.

I know not to beat myself up about the choices I have made. In the end all I (like so many of you) have been doing is trying to manage life as best I can. But my protest that there “is no time” can no longer stand. All I have is my time to allocate and thus, going forward I must make more considered choices. That means, prioritising what is truly important, which in the end is always, always the people I love.

I hope that you too prioritise the right things.

xxx

P.S: If you can, phone your grandmother.